NATHANAELKENNEDY

THE KENNEDY COLLECTION is my own collection. When I'm not busy being made redundant, I drink whisky. We all have our hobbies. And I never was creative. I stopped being 'creative' when my mum threw out my jet fighter plane that I made when I was seven because she thought it was rubbish. To be fair, it was made out of toilet paper, and I'm not overly disappointed because construction time was minimal and overheads were practically non-existent.

Anyway.

It is a collection of whiskies I have collected over the past three years. To the right, you can see them all cosied in there in the cabinet. They weren't always housed there though.  I used to display them on an antique kitchen sideboard that was given to me. The reason I stopped using it? Honestly, there was nothing wrong with it other than I wanted a bottle of Macallan Fine Oak 18yr old and the bottle was too tall to fit on the shelf! Seriously. But why so big Macallan? This is how it happened.

Ian Curle, Chief Executive of Edrington went up to Graham, the Chief Bottling Man, and said "Good morning, Graham. What do you think about our bottles in general?" To which Graham replied "I think they're good. Perfect height for lads wanting to display our whisky on kitchen sideboards that were given to them by their mothers". "Yeah, but, I think they need to have more height" Ian said, in a tone that suggested that he was in a playful, but not really ready to be told what to do sort of way...especially in front of his children (not that they were there). "Why?" Graham asked. "What's wrong with the height of the bottles that we have now?" "Nothing..." Ian retorted. "Nothing. And Everything...Nothing and Everything. Nothing and Everything with a small lean in favour of Everything. Nothing and Everything with a slightly larger lean in favour of Everything. Everything. Everything is wrong with the bottles, especially when concerned with height!" Graham was a bit dumbfounded at this stage because he felt Ian was making a big deal out of nothing and that he was deliberately trying to ruin his morning for no reason, even though he made Ian's coffee just the way he liked it. "So at least...three times the size then?" Graham said sarcastically, having just watched that movie 'Zoolander' the night before. "Yes!" Ian said, postively thrilled with Graham's recommendation. "Half an inch bigger!".

And there you have it...that's how it happened*

(*DISCLAIMER* that is not how it happened).